I remember the first time my partner saw me wearing my satin briefs from Body Aware. We hadn’t been together for long, and she didn’t know about my love for underwear. She seemed pretty open and trustworthy, but still, I found my heart beating a bit more rapidly; I was both nervous and excited! Taking off my jeans she said, “Oh my god! I love this! You look like a present!” Her response couldn’t have made me happier.
I loved her thinking of me like this - a present. Perhaps I am getting more sentimental as I grow older, but I finally understand that the greatest gift you can give to another person is the gift of yourself. I’ve learned that now as a parent, a spouse, and a lover. To be fully yourself, to be present and intimate with other people is really the best we can do, and in giving this we can also receive the same in return.
When I say to be fully yourself, I mean that in every possible way. I know this might sound strange on an underwear blog, but in my experience undies have played a big role for me. I was with my last partner for about 15 years, and the entire time she shamed me for my interest in underwear. This, in turn, made me feel poorly for wanting to wear thongs, anything lace, and satin. I would still wear all these things, but I hid them from her, and that never felt good. I recognize now that this was terrible. Mutually, both of us lost in denying something that seemed an essential part of me. I had to hide something within myself and her. Therefore, she never got the gift of enjoying something that makes me feel so good about myself, and thus never really got the full gift of me.
As a man today, I think it takes great strength and confidence to wear lace or thongs or satin in front of another. Many would find this an affront to masculinity, but in reality sharing, yourself fully takes real courage, and in this way showing your true colors is a tremendous gift. And if these are things that feel important to you as they do to me, sharing them with another also takes trust and shows that you are really willing to be yourself. Indeed, I can say the first time I wore these kinds of underwear for my current partner, I was both excited and terrified. I was confident and also vulnerable, and to me, these are the markers of real intimacy.
There is a much simpler way to think about these things. You know when you get a present on your birthday or Christmas, and the giver took tremendous care in wrapping the gift to make it look loved and enticing? I like to think of underwear in this way, as a beautiful wrapping for sharing the gift that is me.
To be fully yourself, showing all your quirks, kinks, fetishes, strengths and weakness is real intimacy, and speaking from my experience this is what I really crave. I love how I use my underwear and panties to express myself to my partner, as a sort of gift wrapping to show her more of who I am inside. And how it makes me feel special when I share this side of myself with her.
Signing off for now!
-Brian
9 comments
Hi Brian,
This is so comforting to hear. I’ve been blessed with an amazing, understanding and accepting wife. But before I was with her, the torment of not being able to be fully me, was so painful. I guess I still feel a little sad that society isn’t always accepting. Like if someone gets a flash of my thong rising above my jeans or if I’m wearing frilly knickers in the gym changing room, I still feel ashamed. I guess it’s working towards creating a more accepting society and also just being willing to be fully self. Keep up the good work. Chris x
I totally agree – underwear is your expression of yourself. I have always been fascinated with underwear for as long as I can remember. My Dad always wore a bikini back in the 70’s and 80’s and I too wanted to wear the same. So I did. Going to university gave me the independence to wear what I wanted – but the briefs never felt that great. It’s only since I’ve been with my husband that I have begun to wear what makes me feel truly sexy – and I found BA a few years ago. Then the bikinis and thongs – the satin and silk didn’t shock him at all, but the first time he saw me in lace was a big step for me. My heart raced – had I crossed the line? I’d showed a straight friend who loved it ( and actually bought some!) – but I was still nervous to show my husband. Lucky for me he loved it . So now I wear panties all the time. I think the cleaner is a bit shocked – haha – but who cares. Thank you BA you changed my life.
Hi Brian, What a touching story and so close to home! I, too, had a former partner who was similar. The first time I was brave enough to reveal my sexy men’s underwear, she was in shock! She actually asked me if I turning gay!! Needless to say, I did the same by getting to the mailbox first, and hiding my new treasures!
Thank God the lady I’m with now, more than 20 years, loves my underwear and swimwear collection! And it’s grown exponentially! I’ve always loved wearing bikini swimsuits that are skimpier than the old “Speedos”…and she even tells me which ones she likes too, including thongs. I stopped caring what others think when I’m wearing sexy short-shorts or tops or different swimsuits in public because it makes me and her happy!! Life is too short! Even one step further, on vacation years ago, I spotted a few guys with nipple piercings. Kind of turned me on, so I finally mentioned it to her. She said, do it! Finally got both pierced and we both love it! 💕 ! Whether it’s a sexy BA mesh or sheer top, I love how they look showing through! Being public in either a sexy bikini or thong and my power, I feel so good and know that she loves it just as much!
Sorry for going on so long! Be well and keep up the great work!
I agree a 100% if you cannot be yourself in a relationship the relationship will not endure! I am a masculine man that loves sexy frilly underwear!