Boxers or Briefs? (Captain America Edition)
Posted on 08 July 2016
With the release of Captain America: Civil War, along with me being a geek in the underwear business, I can’t help but wonder about what the boys of this movie are wearing under those costumes. Though their outer costume is generally what we see more of, surely they think hard about their choices in underwear, and what would suit them best while saving the world, right? After thinking about it in great detail, (because thinking about boys in underwear requires great detail) I feel like I have a good answer to the age old question for each of the boys in this movie: Boxers, or Briefs?
Captain America: Boxers
Steve is definitely a boxers guy. He seems like the kind of guy who likes the more simple things in life, and the chance of a brief riding up his thigh or butt cheek seems like it could be too much for him. He’s got more things to worry about than having underwear that looks sexy (despite that booty that would look good in some sexy undies), so I imagine he just picks up whatever the department stores have that looks comfortable and functional. Hey, maybe he’s got a sexy side for those he wants to impress, but for his day-to-day activities, he probably sports a good pair of boxers.
Iron Man: Briefs
Tony Stark/Iron Man wears briefs, without a doubt. He’s such a show-off, and I’m positive that this extends to how much of his body he would want to show. Boxers are too standard for him! He’s got a presence to keep up with, don’t you know? I wouldn’t put it past him to even have a bikini brief or two, as well. With how highly he thinks of himself, I bet he’s got all types of underwear styles that people don’t normally own. Props to him though, am I right?
War Machine: Briefs
War Machine's drive and determination makes me believe that he's a briefs guy. You'd just be able to get more done in briefs, and he doesn't seem like somoene who would want any boxers impeding his movement and getting in his way. And shoot, with Iron Man being his counterpart, he's got quite the underwear collection to work up to! Assuming Iron Man really does have that extensive of a collection...but let's be real, he probably does.
The Winter Soldier: Briefs
He’s a tough one…though I think I’d have to say briefs. With all that metal that he has going on, things could get all caught up in a pair of boxers, and lord knows he’s too broody to deal with that. Plus, before he almost died in the first Captain America movie, he seemed like the type of guy to want to look good under his clothes. Not that boxers don’t look good, but he seemed so sure of himself, and I imagine he’d want to show himself off by wearing a brief.
He has such a fun, peppy attitude about everything, and I feel like that translates into being a brief guy. He’s also got all that flying to do, so I feel like he’d be more aerodynamic if he didn’t have a pair of boxers holding him back. I mean, not assuming he’s flying with no pants on…but hey, if he ever wanted to, I’m sure he’d be prepared with some briefs.
If I had to give my most honest answer, he seems too carefree to really care about what he’s wearing under his suit. However, I see him more as a boxer guy. I could see him relaxing at home in a pair of boxers because he’d find it more comfortable. They flow with the wind and they go with the flow, just like he seems to do. He pretty much is a pair of boxers.
Black Panther: Briefs
With his heightened senses and how quick he can move around, I’d say he’d be a briefs guy. Plus, with that super skin-tight suit he wears, there’s no way he’d want to deal with a pair of boxers bunching up under it. He doesn’t seem like the type of guy to want to deal with discomfort under his suit, so if it takes a smaller pair of underwear to do that, then by all means, he’ll wear the smallest underwear he can find. And with that body, I don't think too many people would be complaining!
This is just what I think, of course. Let me know in the comments if you agree! And if you’ve seen the movie, tell us what you liked most about it! I’ve got such a soft spot for Marvel movies, especially ones with Steve Rogers in it (Insert heart eyes emoji here).